Cars...

So I had decided that I wasn't going to buy anymore cars until I got a house and got settled with all my finances then I found a gem of a car...like everything perfect...but the car got sold last night and then the new buyer is already selling it back but for 500 more...now realistically I could buy this car but then I would have to wait until my next check comes to finish paying off my bills and such...like I don't really like this idea really. Plus the reality is that I don't have a garage so then it would be sitting outside during the winter defeating the purpose of looking for a car that hasn't been driven in the snow. The problem is that even at the increased price of 500 more dollars this car is still a steal...this shit is crazy I just don't wanna make a bad decision because when it comes to cars I normally do make this mistake. The last piece of the puzzle was that I initially kept telling myself that I wanted to get a manual for all my sports cars because the reality is that I would only be driving them during the summer so its not like its that big of a deal plus with a car like this its almost silly not to have a stick. Decisions decisions...I think that it would be best to just ignore the car even though its a great deal and would be saving me anywhere from 3000-6000 down the road when I got to buy this car a year from now. I think its decisions like this that can make a break other dreams and the fact is the club is number one @ the moment..damn being mature really sucks.

Off to Black Mountain

Man its been a long time since I have updated my blog but now I am going to start getting back to the daily updates. So speaking of updates I have finally been able to start taking care of business in my life with the assistance from my pops...even with him gone he's still taking care of me and the family shit is crazy. But yea with his help I have begun the 1st stage of getting myself debt free and providing some essential tools to aid in my success with both school and business. I am officially a college student again and register for summer classes on April 20th..man I can't even remember the last time I was looking at classes. The biggest news for me is that I finally took care of something that has been irking me for more than half of my life...my vision! Just a few days ago I dropped a good portion of cash down to get my custom Wavefront Technology Lasik Surgery and correct my vision. More than a successful procedure it has made my quality of life dramatically better...this was the best thing I have ever bought in my entire life (next to Sphinx lol). I went from -4.75 to 20/20 vision within minutes and I couldn't be happier. In terms of tricking off I really am not gonna be on that this time around because I really don't have any room for error on my decisions because I want to make sure that we are able to get this building and move to the next level with our business and lives in general.

The one thing that I am doing to give back to myself would be this little vacation to Miami that we are taking for memorial day and I am excited as shit about that because its been way to long since I took a vacation and at this point of my I need and deserve one. I want to continue the tradition that my pops started by having a vacation every year where we go somewhere so this will mark the restart of that. I am hope that he is looking down on me and smiling knowing that I am gonna make him proud.

So with life changing moments...lives change

So with the passing of my father I started to really sit back and reflect about what and who are important in my life and I am dedicated to living my life to its fullest. With that in mind I am really focusing on what I really should be doing with I time in this world and my once passion and drive to acquire my empire has been halted. My father taught me that family is the most important thing we have in this world and those who I consider family by blood or experiences have been taken for granted for too long. I will focus my life on spending more time with them and not allowing my thirst for conquest get in the way anymore. I will continue to be the very best person I can be in the business world but at the same time devote just as much, if not more, energy to being a person for my family. I really was able to see the true colors of a few people in my life and I am truly grateful and lucky that I have them in my life, they are who I do this all for. In addition to this I feel like I want to have an even better relationship with my brother and my mom, just spending more time with them and talking to them more. I am trying to take it one day at a time and I just have to stay focused and not get sidetracked, I know that if I put in God's hands I will be ok, so that's what I am going to do.

Dedicated to my Pops...

For those that didn't catch my facebook status my father passed away this past weekend...and its still not even real to me yet. I got a call from my mom at 4:20pm telling me that she had bad news and for some reason I immediately knew...I don't know what to say, feel, think, or react to this shit because no one close to me has ever passed. I have had family members pass over the years but no one this close to home...hell the last time I cried about someone dying was my dog Snoop my freshman year and that shit really broke me up...but my dad? Like for the select few who even met or knew my dad know that he definitely was a "unique" person lol. I am trying to remember him for who he was and not just him as my dad because I know he wouldn't want me sitting up in the house sad and crying. For the few hours it was kinda crazy but I had no emotions...I was completely blank...tried to take a shower to relieve a bit of the edge...had a few drinks...nothing. Then after I dropped off Moe to work it hit me...I won't ever see his face...hear his voice or him laugh...hug him..nothing. Like even with him living in Pennsylvania I was always subconsciously comforted by the reality that he was only an email, telephone, road trip or plane ride away and not that far out of touch....that all changed yesterday. I won't be able to ever have a conversation or see him again. With that realization coming down over me so did all the emotion that I guess I hadn't realized either...I let it all out but it doesn't seem to have to helped that much because even after all that...the pit in my stomach and heart hasn't subsided. I got a few calls, emails, text and messages from friends and family, trying to help ease the pain and comfort me and although it has definitely helped...its still not enough. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone...and its not until I lost someone really close to me that I truly understood that...I will live my life with that in mind and remind those that mean something to me that I care about them because you might not have the chance to do so past this moment. I know my dad knew that I loved him and I know he loved me...but I wish I could just tell him one more time.

You weren't the perfect father, but you were the perfect father for me...I Love you Pops.

The New Communication

When you sit back and really look at the advances that have been made in terms of forms of communication from email, cell phones, instant messenger, text messages, skype, video chat, facebook, myspace, linkedin, blogs, and now twitter, it blows my fucking mind. This shit is crazy we are slowly making direct connection pointless because we can literally be updated on all of friends and family where ever we can get a connection, thus eliminating the need to actually see and talk to that person. The other thing that seems really interesting is that people seem to be more honest and "real" when they are using these forms of communication rather than the image of them that we gather in person which I find disturbing. I mean I value the fact that I am the same all the time, in the sense that I will be the same ass in person as I am on my blogs and facebook, I can't say the same for the vast majority. I am unsure as to why people feed the need to only display that real person only through these electronic mediums rather than all the time but they definitely are showing their true colors, which isn't always a negative. I dunno it just is getting a bit out of control when you have US Senators "twittering" and I over here watching CNBC and the speaker is telling me I can catch him on Facebook...what the fuck...watch, we won't even have to write resumes anymore cuz Facebook is come out with an application and jobs will be able to check our profiles, info, and resume from there and make the determinations based on that shit. Shit is crazy...

On another note...i am so amazed at the routine that is my life. Every year around this time there are few things that always happen: I get an ear infection and I am walking around very angry towards everyone (except sphinx, that's my little buddy) because I only get sick through this once a year. I have come out with the most ingenious plans for some business shit and now I am trying to work out the leg work or get the financing together, and then I get a job or something that puts shit on hiatus. I either have ended a relationship or I have found point of intrigue in a woman, that has simply blown my mind from the simplest shit. I have noticed a few other things about that as well, its the ones the give me the least attention that have the most intrigue and its not because there's the challenge aspect. It have more to do with the complexity that is embodied within them, and by that I mean that normally I have enough articulation that I can at least talk my way into a date...and from there I will be able to decided a few things. However its the ones that show little attention or interest, or the ones that are really busy and don't have the time, or even the ones that have str8 denied me that spark the most interest. Its through that I try to feel them out and figure out if they are worth the extra effort, sadly most aren't lol but I don't mind getting to know new people many of these "wasted efforts" have led to some really great friends. @ this point I am in the "intrigued" point of my life at this time of year...and I have an ear infection lol. The one thing that's interesting is her bday...which happens to be the same day as an ex...well "the" ex lol...as I said...very intriguing.