Poor Mans Black Card

So while browsing one my favorite sites to find new shit Uncrate (ladies check out Outblush but I warn you its a bit stereotypical sexist), I happened to read the info on the Visa Black Card...well I thought this shit was absolutely hilarious. Read the description:


"Don't qualify for a Centurion Card? Maybe the Visa Black Card ($495 annual fee) is a little more your style. Made with carbon graphite, the exclusive card comes with personalized assistance from a 24-hour concierge service, "luxury gifts," access to the Priority Pass airport VIP lounge program, and a high-end rewards program. Membership is said to be limited to only 1% of U.S. residents, so get that credit rating up. "

I will say though from handling a black card the black card still seems to be better the option due to the fact that the shit is made of actual metal not plastic. The really funny thing about a black card is that you can barely get that shit to swipe correctly because the shit is so much thicker than a normal card. Good luck trying to get that bitch to work at a gas station...which is ironic you have no spending limit but you can't get the shit to work lol, so your ass is on stuck if you care runs out of gas and you make it to a station but that big ass card isn't fitting in the card reader and its all you have on you...nice job Amex. Then you got Visa's ole wannabe Amex when I grow up face ass trying to come with something new but the marketing department couldn't come up with some more clever than the "Visa Black Card" ...shit you might as well call it "Black Card Jr." or "Semi-Balling Centurion Card"...I dunno anything is better than what they came up with. They should have talked to my man over at the infomercials that came up with the "Don't wait to buy Gold [brief pause], Buy Gold and Wait..." That has to be the hottest shit I have heard all year, you just had to see the sheer satisfaction on this dude's face when he said that shit, he was so pleased with himself lol.

Anyway tho...if you aren't quite Bow Wow balling...(yea he definitely shitted on everyone without one because he said he's under 21 with a black card...well you know what Bow Wow...you are also under 121 lbs you midget malnourished cockface) you can get the 2nd's best, the Visa Black Card, lol. In the words of a genius and hilarious marketing strategy by Burger King with the Whooper Virgins, "Congratulations McDonalds you got 2nd Place."